Saturday Spotlight - Birthdays!

Fun Birthday Celebrations !!

Last night was such a fantastically fun evening. It was spent celebrating the birthday of a friend with a great group of people; a few I met for the first time. What a pleasure it was to have spent time with this gaggle of goofy, intelligent, free spirited, accepting and somewhat uncensored souls. It certainly was a gay ole time. I am looking forward to having more adventures with this bunch, should they include me in their reindeer games :-)

Despite a rough patch, ok......... a REALLY rough patch in the friendship of said birthday boy, I think we have come out it fairly well. When relationships (friends, family, etc...) go though tough times, when it gets resolved in its own way and time - obviously the dynamics change and shift. Even though it has been almost a year since we rebuilt our friendship, at times I still have that "walking on eggshells" feeling. I guess it's only natural given the decidedly unsettling circumstances that led up to our falling out. Still, I am very happy (and proud) for the huge first step that was taken last year to re-connect. It took a leap of growth, awareness and setting aside of pride to do and I am thankful he did.

~~ What are you doing? Are you delivering mail or are you delivering dick and nuts? ~~

Today's Random Horoscope

I thought this was very appropriate and on target!

There's a lot of hopeful energy around you and your friends right now, so this is a time for everyone to embrace positive thoughts -- they can work wonders. Everyone in your life should have confidence that things are going to turn out just fine.

Saturday Spotlight

Porto Rico Importing Company

On Bleeker Street, just about three quarters of a block away from this mecca of beautiful beans, a faint breeze blows and the enticing aroma of java starts to fill your senses. The closer you get the excitement builds.

PRCP is not a coffee shop - it is a small store that sells a wide variety of the most incredible array fresh coffee beans and teas from around the world. What a treat to be able to go around the world with coffee. A trip I would love to take for real!

Long And Winding Road

While talking to a friend today, the subject of my adoption came up. Why did it come up you ask? Because I received a call from my birth mother at work today. I hadn't spoke with her in many many months. She is on the batshit crazy side and a bit fried due to a life filled with drugs. Apparently, the side effects have lasted well into her latter years. But I digress.... my friend really didn't know the details of the opening phase of this chapter in my life, so I decided to re-publish my initial entry from a blog I had in a former life. So pack a lunch....Here goes.... it's really, really long :-)


October 26, 2005

9:38 am Trying to process this new development in my world is intense, to say the least. Thank G-d for Elaine, my searcher. She has been an angel and over the past week has become a significant part of my life.

Now that my head is clearer, I can document better how it went down (more for myself than anything :-):

Thurs Oct 20th:

I posted my info on the NYA list in the evening.

15 minutes later I get an e-mail from Elaine telling me she is going to find them for me and that I should call her.

We talk for a while and then she gets to work. And when I say gets to work.... she is persistant, determined and will call anyone anytime to get results.


Fri Oct 21st:

Calls and e-mails back and forth with Elaine - she has contacted a few men with the last name I had at birth. The men in a family are they key to finds as unlike women, their last names don't change. She spoke to a few people, but nothing yet.

She gives me homework. I have to go to the NYC library and go back again into the NYC Birth Index books and get the names of males born in 1945, 1946 and 1947 with the last name I was born with. This is the key.

From the info I was given by the agency that now has possession of my records (the original one is out of business - GOOD. More about that later), my birth mother and her older brother were extremely close in age. Elaine figured out that they are about a year apart. He was a freshman in college when I was born and she was 18 - she did the math.


Sat Oct 22:

Cold rainy day - but I trek into the City to do my homework.

The Geneology Room was packed. There were lots of adoptees/searchers looking at the books doing their own research. I managed to find the books I need and start writing names.

There was one name in particular that stuck out - it was the birthday. I put a big question mark next to it, packed up my things and went home to e-mail Elaine my results.

SIDENOTE: I was at the Library a few years ago to research my info. I had found out that an adoptees birth certificate number never changes. Lighbulb went on and I went to the library. I was there for 6 hours looking through the index books from 1965. Why 6 hours?? Because the books are arranged by last name, not number. I had to go through each freaking name in the book and try to match the number. I finally did - right before the Library was going to close. I also took the names of all the females born in 1947 - knowing ones of those names was my birth mother. There were 4 names and one listed as "female"....

Back home around 4:00 - e-mailed my findings to Elaine and started waiting. She was out for the day and most of the evening so I knew it wouldn't be until Sunday that I would hear from her.

THE DAY - Sunday Oct 23rd:

I was on my way to the City at about 10:30 to meet my sister and Mom for lunch and to see "Trailer Park".

My cell phone rings at 11:00 - it was Elaine. I didn't really think anything of it because we had been talking for days.

She asked how my drive in was going, traffic, etc... and told me to keep my eyes on the road - or better yet pull over. That's when I knew she had something to tell me.

Remember the male's name I put a question mark next to? Bingo. It was her brother. Elaine spoke to his wife who confirmed that she did indeed have the right family and that she knew all about me. He happened to be home and literally almost fainted. He spoke to Elaine for a few minutes and needed to hang up to collect his thoughts.

11:30 - my cell rings again - Elaine. She tells me that he called her back and gave her his mother's phone number and that she spoke to her. They are all in Florida - and bracing for the hurricane. Little did she know that hurricane Lisa was about to descend on them.

Elaine tells me that the first thing my b-grandmother said was "I have to talk to her - have her call me".

Keep in mind that this is all happening while I am waiting to meet my Mom and sister for our Girl's Day Out!

11:45 - I call (my b-grandmother) - it was rather amazing. She was calm and collected for about 5 minutes and then she broke down. She kept telling me that it was a miracle and that they had tried to look for me for a very long time.

After about 10 minutes on the phone with her - she says "Oh - my daughter just came in from the pool - I'm sure she wants to talk to you (she was laughing when she said this). I almost passed out. (my birth mother) was there to make sure her mother was ok during the hurricane. Birth-grandmother hands the phone over to her and says "Your daughter is on the phone". So, birthmother gets on the phone and says "So, you are still alive?". I said "uuuumm yeah..." In the background I hear birth-grandmother say... "No, this is your FIRST daughter". (That's when I knew I had a sister!)

Birth-mother then starts to cry. We had a nice talk for about 15 minutes - then I realized I had to meet my sister and mother and had to get off the phone.

It took all the strength and willpower I possessed to act as natural as possible when I met up with them. My sister looked at me knowing I had something to tell her - Mom had no clue. We went to lunch - when Mom had to go to the ladies room - I knew I had about 3 minutes to fill my sister in on what had happened this morning. So I told her as much as I could before my mother got back to the table.

Since Sunday, I have spoken to them AND my niece a few times. A lot of questions were answered and even more popped up - so this is going to be a long and winding road.

Very short list of things I did find out:

My birth father is deceased. He died in a drug related car accident. He was a troubled person. (Elaine has found his brother, who is a doctor and left messages for him to call her). That is going to be a trip!

My birth mother and my Mom have THE SAME birthday (different years, but holy shit) She was the one listed as "female" in the birth index.

I have a half sister - who has a 9 year old daughter . I spoke to her also - she is wonderful! My half sister is missing (she is a drug addict and disappeared - I don't know how long she has been gone - I will get more info on that in the coming days)

My birth name, Lorell, came from a L'Oreal ad featuring beautiful redheads. Too funny! (Dreamgirls! - I was first)

I have a lot of family that I will need to be in touch with. It seems that the entire family knew about me. I was told that my existance was not a "dirty family secret" and that everyone knew.

So.... that's the story so far......

I'm doing quite well with this. It's a very odd situation to be in, but has been suprisingly comfortable.

6-21-07 NOT the end of the story by any means, but I will save that for another time.....

Ka-Ching

The Borgata...... it is a beautiful hotel, but the shining gold building is a bit removed from the rest of the properties in AC. With reason. It is definitely a major step up from them. It is very elegant with beautiful touches throughout. I was a little reticent about spending $20 for lunch - (afterall it takes away from my slot fund), but after walking into the restaurant..... the doubt disappeared. What a fantastic display of gourmet delights. Of course, I was immediately drawn to the dessert section. The treats were magnificent in presentation and taste.

By the end of the day, like a lot of people we were tired and our wallets were somewhat lighter than when we arrived. After a very long day, I wanted to make a quick stop into Showboat - I used to like their casino. We scoped the room for a while looking for a specific type of machine.. we found them, but ran into too many rude crazy ladies and left - so instead of just leaving to go home, we went next door to the Taj for a final fling. We found the machine we were looking for - and two together! We sat down, put in our bills and played for a few minutes - winning a losing little bits at a time. And then...... ka-ching. I looked up and thought I had won 60 quarters ($15) which would have been nice.... I seemed to have missed the extra zero. I won 600 quarters :-) ($150). NICE! All in all between the gas, tolls, snacks and lunch - I came out about $80 ahead..... Not a bad day out! I made some money and spent a lovely day with a wonderful friend.

Saturday Spotlight - Under The Boardwalk

Atlantic City!

Which is where I will be today!
My slot machine addiction will be fed
as will my tummy at the Borgata buffet!

Heath Care Is Making Me Sick

I am probably going to have to leave the job this summer.
It literally is breaking my heart. They raised our health
premiums to almost $400/mo with a $35/45 copay and
$20-50 prescrip. It's insane and something needs to be
done. Being single and my own sole means of support,
I simply cannot afford it. We only get a minimal cost of
living raise... no merit ones ever for anyone. I felt so
wimpy... I started getting very teary as I was telling
one of my friends there about it (my yoga instructor -
she is wonderful).

So... when school is officially over next week and I have
all the quiet time I need, I have to start looking. It sucks.
Well... at least until I have something else, I have the security
of the job I have and won't have financial issues for a while.

It's been a tough week and a half, but last Saturday was
definitely THE bright spot. So much fun!

Great friends and much rejoicing :-)

Definitely Disney

Just a few of my favorites from the trip - I took 500, so this is a drop in the bucket:

Newark On $25.50 A Day

This morning I had to go to Newark for a very stressful meeting. Now, the city is only about 15 miles from where I live but getting there alive by not taking "the back roads" costs money. Ten bucks for gas, 3.50 for tolls, and 12 for parking. I spent all of an hour at this meeting. This annoyed me.

Some perspective, - Manhattan is also about 15 miles for me to travel to Midtown. I can get there for 6.00, free parking (because I have "that cosmic parking thing") and a lot less stress!

I Am No Longer A Virgin

It was magical - I finally did it. I went to the parks at Disneyworld. Before this trip I never really "got" why people flip out about this place. I do now.

More than a few things impressed me. The food was incredible, the resort was lovely, the astounding attention to detail and the entire operation as a whole. The people there were wonderful and accommodating. We didn't want for anything. It was a fantastic and well deserved vacation.

My next real adventure requires a passport which I do not have yet. I will be submitting the papers next week. Just thinking about this next trip makes me more than happy - it is one that I have dreamt about. All the arrangements for the trip are in place ... I just have to wait until.... January. Time will not pass quick enough!

BackTo Basics

It seems like it has been so long since I've been able to write. Life has been particularly busy and wonderful. Since my last entry, I've seen a bunch of shows, taken an almost week long vacation in the most "magical" of places, visited with friends about the City, celebrated my parent's 50th (!) anniversary, etc.... Life is very good.

I realize that at this point in time, everything is sort of "in place" - and it's a very peaceful feeling. Having the right people in (and in some cases out) of your life at the right time makes for a very pleasing existence.

I have some phenomenal friends that I have made at work. They are creative, intelligent and caring people. In July one of the most fantastic of the bunch is getting married. I cannot wait for this event. It is a 1920's theme wedding in an old mansion. I will be living the good parts of "The Great Gatsby" for one evening. What an event this will be! The dress I have is spectacular and I can't wait to wear it!

A few friend's birthdays are also coming up (one of which I missed last year), so more good times to be had :-)