75 Inches @ Ars Nova

Last night, I attended Dick Scanlan’s new one man show – 75 Inches - at Ars Nova.

The main thrust of his monologue detailed his experiences as a drag queen in the show “Pageant” and inter-dispersed with the many experiences that brought him to that point and beyond. His telling of the show’s run in Orlando that involved the colorful couple who ran the theatre, the hoodlums that stole his corset and the details of final day of the show – when the electricity was shut off – was a wonderful journey to take with him. Dick’s poignant stories about his father were heartfelt, showed the love they had for each other and a showed a father’s championship of his son.

His ruminations about his childhood and time at Carnegie Mellon, being kicked out for being too effeminate – in the theatre department! - were a revelation in a person’s evolvement into who they are and how they got there. One of the most affecting portions of the evening was his telling of his journey through the AIDS crisis, his own battle with the disease and the freedom he found.

While the monologue could be tweaked - possibly shortened in some places - Dick’s story telling is natural, easy going and engaging. It was a very personal look into a life exposed.

A lovely evening topped off by…. my sitting next to my favorite female Broadway performer – Sheri Rene Scott.

On a very special Maury…. Who the Baby Daddy?

Once in a while a news story comes along that completely and utterly has me in tears laughing from the surrealism of it. Such was the breaking story about Al Sharpton’s ancestors allegedly being owned by the family of that paragon of tolerance…. Strom Thurmond. Sharpton is demanding DNA testing to see if they share the same blood-line.

You be the judge - Is there a family resemblence? I want *that* family reunion as an HBO special!

You remember Strom…. that ancient Senator from South Carolina who conducted the longest filibuster ever conducted by a United States Senator in opposition to the Civil Rights Act of 1957.

One 1948 speech included the following:

“I wanna tell you, ladies and gentlemen, that there's not enough troops in the army to force the Southern people to break down segregation and admit the nigra race into our theaters, into our swimming pools, into our homes, and into our churches. “ Shortly after Thurmond's death on June 26, 2003, Essie Mae Washington-Williams publicly revealed that she was Strom Thurmond's illegitimate daughter. She was born to an African American maid, Carrie "Tunch" Butler (1909–1947), on October 12, 1925, when Butler was 16 and Thurmond was 22.

Apparently, he had no problem admitting himself into (as he would say) “them”.

Next... on a very special episode of Maury.......

Get Fresh With Me

"They" are right - We become our mothers - I see small pieces of evidence of that everyday in myself and other women.... (and some men!).

Yesterday, I stopped at Dunkin' Donuts before running errands and had the following experience:

When I walked in I saw that I was "next". George Carlin was right - there is no better feeling than knowing you are next. In front of me was an adorable teeny tiny, very smartly dressed, Jewish woman around 80 years old, who was just about to place her order.

Young woman behind the counter (YW): "May I help you - what would you like?"
Teeny tiny old woman (OW): "Can I have a small coffee with milk and 1 sugar?"

YW: "Of course - would you like anything to go with that?"
OW: "I think so, let me see" (rifles through her purse and pulls out a fistful of coupons and begins to slowly pick through them to find the one she wants) "Oh good! I'll have a croissant."

At this point, I hear a small laugh behind me. I turn around and there is a middle aged woman in back of me... starting to giggle.

YW: "Would you like that toasted?"
OW: Why?!? Is it stale?
YW: "No, just that some people like them toasted."
OW: "Well now I don't want one, you have me thinking they are stale."
YW: "They are not stale, they were just made."
OW: " Well, I changed my mind and I want a corn muffin - if they aren't stale like the croissants.
YW: " They aren't stale, I promise"
OW: "Ok - thank you dear"

(Giggling still in back of me - which starts to make me laugh also and I turn around again)

Middle aged woman to me: "My mother died 5 years ago - I want to know who reincarnated her as another old woman? Next thing you know, she's going to want to write a check for it. I have to laugh, I've already started doing the coupon thing she use to do like that woman. It's inevitable... we become our mothers."

It made me think - In my case... I hope so.

Tainted Love

Every few months I get a craving for a special guy. He’s sweet, satisfying and most recently…. the subject of many news stories. That’s right – I’m talking about the creamy and chunky goodness that is Peter Pan Peanut Butter. As one of the lucky lottery winners of the Salmonella Special Edition of this tasty treat, I was fortunate enough not be sickened by the product itself, but nauseated by the fact that this happened at all.

Why is it that lately when something goes wrong with a food product it invariably comes back to Con Agra? I’ll tell you why… they own an astounding array of brands and packaging plants.

2002 was a banner year for them:

• E-Coli in their beef
• Turkeys produced at a ConAgra turkey packing house in Colorado are the most contaminated in the country, according to government test results obtained by the Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI) under the Freedom of Information Act. Nearly half of the turkeys processed at ConAgra’s Longmont, Colorado, facility are contaminated with harmful Salmonella bacteria, as are almost one-third of the turkeys produced at four other plants. The nickname for this episode – “The Filthy Five”

Not only are there a plethora of health violations, but apparently the health and well being of their employees is not all that spotless either.

2004 – from the CDC

http://www.cdc.gov/niosh/hhe/reports/pdfs/2003-0112-2949.pdf

From their website: “As a leader in multiple segments of the food business, ConAgra Foods understands what consumers want: familiar brands, favorite foods and innovative products that make meals and snacks great-tasting, convenient and affordable” .ConAgra Foods Centers of Excellence: innovating to create new food products, and renovating to make your favorites better.

(Not to mention a public health hazard.)

Here is a sample list of some consumer favorites….

Banquet
Chef Boyardee
Egg Beaters
Guldens
Snack Pak
Libbys
Slim Jim
Van Camp
Healthy Choice (ironic)
Orville Reddenbachers
Jiffy Pop
Reddi Whip
Wesson
Blue Bonnet
La Choy
Hebrew National (they will have to answer to a different “higher” authority if something goes wrong with this line of products)
Pam
Swiss Miss
Brown and Serve
Fleishmans (see comment for Hebrew National)
Parkay
Hunts
Marie Callenders
And the providers of the special ingredient in Peter Pan.

ConAgra Foods Inc. said its nationwide recall of peanut butter will cost between $50 million and $60 million