Do The FunkyChunky

Oh for Pete's sake - why did someone have to invent this scrumptious melange of popcorn, pecans, almonds, caramel, cashews and two different types of chocolate drizzled over it? Harry and David should watch and learn from Erica & Ronni.

I got this as a Hanukah gift.... my expanding ass thanks them.

Meet Tibby - The Newest Member of My Family

She's midnight blue... and fast :-)

Broadway is Back - Including Raul !!

Friday morning I woke up and didn't feel that great... really... I mean it... I really didn't... I swear *cough... cough* - So I decided to call in sick to work and then attend the Broadway is Back "show" at the Marquis. The large and prodigious rumor mill asserted that each performer(s) there would sing a song from their show. This would make the whole affair run probably about an hour and a half. Not so..... I feel bad for the people who waited for hours. The show was only a half an hour at best.

Following is a link to the article describing the event. I'm too lazy to properly recount the festivities. PLAYBILL ARTICLE

and here is a pic I took at the end: Yes, that is "Elphaba" next to Ms. Lansbury......


Since I had a plethora of time left in the day - I decided to play tourist in my hometown and take some pics. The obligatory stops at "The Tree", Rock Center stores, and Radio City.



On the side of Radio City:


As if I didn't drink enough coffee so far, I made my regular pilgrimage to my java addicted soul's mecca - Porto Rico Coffee on Bleeker and then to Enfleurage where they have the most delicious selection of candles and soaps. (The subway was particularly fragrant by the way...)

Dear God I was hungry! Good thing, because I was meeting some friends for Mexican at my favorite place that also haaaaaapens to have my favorite waiter. First a stop at Posh for drinks (I was invited for the Secret Gay Conspiracy meeting) where I was introduced to a friend's friend with whom I had a spirited conversation about.... Raul. Let's just say we agree to disagree :-) However, he said I was pretty so he automatically becomes a new BFF and gets a blog mention :-) His blog: cowsinthebarn

Capping the evening off was some Coldstone which is conveniently down the block from the restaurant. The last time I had it, it was bland and tasteless. This time, I picked well... dark chocolate mint ice-cream with brownies.

After the sheer amount of food I consumed in such a short period of time, it was quite a surprise that I didn't throw up on the train back to my car. Although I did feel like it.

Definitely not a Weight Watchers kinda day.

Pricilla Presley Is Beginning To Scare Me

Pricilla used to be one of the most beautiful women in the world... now....


She's beginning to look like Pricilla Queen of the Desert






or worse... her former son-in-law

It's a Doggie Doo World.....

So.... was the illustration really necessary to get the message across?

My Roomate

Over the past year I've discovered a bunch of things about my roomate. Some good.... some enlightening.

She:

• Sometimes leaves dishes in the sink too long
• Needs to remember to put money in her savings account
• Loves her cats
• Has more than occasional insomnia lately
• Forgot just how much she loves hockey
• Should really call Motorola about her busted phone
• She has a bunch of good friends - who sometimes drive her nuts
• Can cook and bake like it's her job, but it's really just a hobby
• Thinks more people should keep their word
• Makes herself "too available " to people because she loves to spend time with her circle of family and friends
• Has gotten a little more adventurous
• She tends to trusts people too soon - not in the OMG we're gonna be BFF's immediately way - cause that's just creepy - but always sees the good side, until it's way too late.
• Her job isn't nearly as challenging as she really wants
• Has come to terms with the fact that she cannot have children.. unless she adopts (that was not as difficult to deal with as she thought, but still had to deal with it)
• Needs to get out an explore the world more, but is too tired with life lately.......
• Is a good person who has people that love her, even though she doesn't feel that way sometimes

Did I forget to mention that I live alone?

Being a Peeping Tom - Or How I Met Auntie Mame

So on Thursday, after a gut busting dinner of really good Mexican food it was decided that we needed to walk it off by getting... hot chocolate. Logical right? I thought I was going to explode, but passing up peppermint hot chocolate at Chocolate Bar... not going to happen! After leaving the store, we were passing all the lovely dwellings on Hudson Street and came upon one in particular where the inhabitants were having a small cocktail party that we watched for a moment. Thoughts of a life in one of those houses were discussed amongst us. As we were about to pass the livingroom window one friend stopped dead in front and starting waving at them. Thinking he was a little nuts and high on the hot chocolate we laughed, but he still kept waving. Well it turns out that one of the party-goers was a friend of his. Said friend came out to greet us and invited us in to join them.

What a wonderful and eclectic group we were! They were so incredibly warm and inviting. One woman in particular (the aunt of the party goer's partner) stood out and completely enthralled me. She was a fantastically tipsy jewelry designer and former singer. She kept hugging me. After telling her that one of my friends was not my boyfriend as she thought, and that actually *they* were the ones that were together, she made me promise that I would do my best to make sure that my two friends got married and had a nice life together. She also kept singing to me. I wanted her to adopt me.

What a fun and unexpected evening. The best kind.

Corporate Conundrum

Tomorrow, I have 2 very important job interviews. They represent the next "step up" in my professional life - and I am a bit apprehensive. Although I am very confident in my ability to do either job, the prospect of going through the process to obtain them is a little daunting. The substantial increase in salary and responsibilities is very exciting. Tooting my own horn for a moment, I submitted resumes to three places, and got two interviews within days. At least I know that the work I put into developing my credentials is paying off - at least to get a foot in the door ffor an interview.

It has been eons since I've had to dress to impress and basically play the corporate game. Both of these positions are well worth the challenge, as they are in the industry that I love and want to set myself down in. Since it has been a while, I was somewhat taken aback when I saw the employment forms from both these organizations. My first reaction was - this has the potential to be a personal violation of my private life. Credit reports?!? Oy. I'll live though - it's worth it.

If either one of these comes to fruition it means my eventual move back to the City. This prospect is also a little nervewracking, but in a good way!

Savage Chicken Pirates

Meet the MET

On Friday and friend and I wanted to do something different, on yet another day off - so we took the backstage tour of the Metropolitan Opera House. What a magnificent place - not just the performance space, but the intricate operation it takes to make it happen.

Loved the tour - the access you have is remarkable. It made me sad that I couldn't go to Lucia, but........ we heard Natalie Dessay doing some warmups in a room we couldn't go in - and an added bonus... Renata Scotto was singing her heart out from a different room on a different floor - she was teaching someone (said the guide).

Seeing the costumes for Lucia, Romeo and Juliet, Butterfly (EXTRAORDINARY!) MacBeth, Faust, Aida, Boheme etc... priceless. They are all so gorgeous - and you are allowed to touch them. My friend and I wanted to hang back and try on the kimonos!

She and I had a blast with the stagehands and propmasters. They were adorable.
It is incredibly fascinating how everything is put together and the time frames involved. My favorite fact... they pick the 27 operas and the singers 5 years in advance!

It was a fantastic experience. I highly recommend it

Wentworth - A Fangirl Moment

Just because... he's perfect.

Whoa Ho Ho It's.... MAGIC

Yes, yes it is. Bruce and the E Street Band's new album, Magic, lives up to its name - and then some. His songs manage to have the classic E Street sound, yet is never a "copy" of himself. It is fresh and relevant. Much of the music has a decidedly Darkness/River feel to it - which thrills you with "from the soul" lyrics and the soaring sounds that reinforce their standing in the music world as the icons they are. Hearing Clarence's horn and Roy's piano wailing out "that" sound... well, it makes me a very happy fan.

Nappus Interruptus

Why is it that everytime I try to take a nap, one or more of the following things happen - no matter what time said nap is scheduled for?:

* Downstairs neighbor's radar for blasting their VERY LOUD Mexican folk music
* Landscapers prolific use of a leaf blower
* I have to pee every 10 minutes
* One of the cats feels the need to bang on the door for attention
* My property manager decides to drag all the garbage can from the parking lot to the front and visa versa
* Above mentioned asswipe who has Ray Romano's voice without volume modulation, engages ANYONE who will listen in a conversation how his rent/utlility free existence is a bitch, as is his pregnant one legged wife. (his thought.. not mine, she is lovely)
* Mom calls
* Medical condition kicks in and I want to die
* Someone decides to test their car alarm over and over and over
* The horn blasting trains come waaaaaaaay more frequently than usual
* Or I just have so many things racing around in my mind that I just can't relax....

Deja Vu

Lately I've been getting some deja vu vibes about a situation I went through a while ago. There are two people I know that have very similar traits, but in varying degrees. There is something unsettling about this. Secrecy, "bending" the truth, omission, and the need to reach out and constantly insinuate themselves into people's lives. This is all under the guise of wanting to be "social". People have even asked me if these two entities were the same person! I noticed this all immediately and was sort of wary, but decided to see how it would pan out. It's actually pretty funny that these two have said some very, very disparaging things about the other to me, but yet choose to have a social relationship. I certainly don't have time for crap like that anymore. Why on Earth would someone want to have people who are like this in their life? It's baffling to me.

Additionally, why is it that no one takes responsibility for the way they make others feel? Safely tucked under a self-helpy blanket... The theory that "only you can decide how you feel" is bullshit. You can feel all you want, the challenge is how you manage it. People do hurtful things to other people, sometimes big - sometimes very small, TAKE responsibility for it. Realize what effect your actions/in-actions have and accept the reaction they get. Don't blow it off as "well that's their problem".

Like people who outright lie (big and small) - they think it's not known, but they are oh so wrong. So never assume that no one knows, just because nothing has been said. And I know a lot... a hell of a lot - I just choose to let it go - but only for so long.

There is a lot more I can say about all of this, but having gotten past it the first time, writing these simple paragraphs was more than enough this time.

Been there... done that - don't want to visit again :-)

Time Traveling

Last night, I went to a very enjoyable reading at CAP21 called "The Time Travelers Convention". The initial premise was that a group of students put flyers in the library books alerting any time travelers from the future that there will be a party for their arrival. The story's theme eventually came to "don't try and go back to the past in order to fix your present". There were some very funny and touching moments, but like I said some of it definitely needs overhauling - such as not starting Act 2 with a depressing daughter/father ballad.

One thing that irked me. The composer, Mike Pettry, is a Jonathan Larson Foundation Award winner and wrote some lovely music. Heidi Heilig wrote the book and lyrics - however, there was one song that repeated the phrase "I should tell you" several times and in a very familiar way. I suspect that perhaps it was their homage to Jonathan, but it was a bit much. One phrase that definitely should be removed is "library kisses (or libraries and kisses)".

The show needs a lot of work, but the potential is definitely there for a fun off-broadway venture that would probably do quite well given the right cast.

SIDE NOTE: While walking back to my car (down the block) I experienced something I hadn't in a VERY long time. Uneasiness. I guess what happened two weeks ago didn't just stay in my dreams but manifested itself in reality. It bothered me that I was bothered.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow..... is the mall

So I had another day off today (shut up Eric) and realized it was a great day to go to the mall to look for a shirt/blouse/sweater to go with my "interview skirt". It's the last day of the horrific cold I had - no more dripping, I could hear again, etc.... so I definitely felt better and needed to get out of the house.

While I was shopping (didn't find what I was looking for), it seems it rained pretty hard - when I emerged from the underground parking, this is the first thing I saw:


And to make it even more interesting, as I turned the corner... it doubled as the clouds passed through it! I wish it were clearer, but I had to act quick... it was disappearing.



If I belived in such things.... I would think it was a sign... a very good sign. :-)

A Day In The Life - A Photo Essay of sorts

Last weekend was a glorious one in NYC - the weather was perfect and I'd like to share some of the photos I took last Saturday. I've lived in the City almost all of my life and am never at a loss for things that catch my eye. Given the fact that my camera comes everywhere with me..... I always manage to stop and take a shot or two... or three... or four - sometimes to the dismay of my companions :-) Walk - stop - walk - stop...

Journey begins.. waiting for the train to pass...

Two of the many doors...



On the building across from Roosevelt birthplace


20th & Broadway (East Side)

Broadway (East Side)
This one just made me giggle...


Theodore Roosevelt Birthplace


Grace Church

You have to be in Little Italy with a place called Cha Cha's


Little Italy/SOHO border


Union Square
Union Square

Undeniably Unmotivated

It's been a long time since I've felt the motivation to write anything.... lots of stuff going on, but not really much to write home about, so to speak.

I've been wrestling with some decisions I've had to make and coming to grips with an issue that arose from the medical tests I had. All in all, my condition is up in the air.... no resoultion as of yet. Frustrating. The one thing did come out of it was a bit hard to handle at first, yet oddly ok once I thought about it. Nothing life threatening - but definitely altered my thinking of the future and what I thought could be one day....

One decision I did make over the past two weeks, is that I definitely have to move on from my current job. There comes a time when you realize that no matter how "comfortable" it is, there is no going forward and no challenges left. I am at this point now. So, armed with an updated resume... off I go on the job hunt.

Maybe There Is Something to Astrology....

Today's offering for Capricorns..... this one is waaaaaaay too on target.

Even if you're surrounded by adults all day long, at certain points of your day it might feel as though you have been plopped down in the middle of a daycare center. A few of your people will be acting like children and exhibiting petty behavior. You shouldn't even bother trying to understand why. You have far too many important, rewarding things to do to start wasting time on trying to help them figure out how to act like grownups. Avoid them.

There's Always Room For Jello

There better be, because of test prep - that's all I'm allowed to eat until 1:00pm tomorrow. Since 10:00 this morning, all I have had is wonton soup (without the wontons) and Jello. One "bright" spot, I can have black coffee.....

Fan-freaking-tastic.

Where is Dr. House When You Need Him?

I can't describe the depth of how ill I was today. It was bad. All I wanted was someone to rip out my insides, bathe them in cold water and then put them back in.

Being stressed a bit at work did not help the situation at all. It's the time of year where we really have to gear up for the new school year. The kids come back in a couple of weeks - damn, the summer went fast! It's a lot of work preparing for the start of a school year.

When I got home, I managed to eat something and keep it down/in - then passed out from 5:15 until 8:30. It's now almost 11:30 and I'm ready to pass out again. There has to be an end to this. I'll find out in a few days - Thursday is the "big tests day". Maybe then I will stop feeling like I am going to burst into tears every few hours.

It's upsetting to me that there are people I know that don't understand the side effects of my condition. I had someone say offhandedly to me this weekend "Boy, you are high maintenance", "You and your muffins" - all because I needed something - anything - to eat so that I wouldn't get sick. It was said in the tone of voice usually reserved for people like... Paris Hilton.. all because I needed a muffin/bagel. This is someone who once saw for themselves just how sick I can become if I don't eat (I've almost passed out twice in public). It really hurt my feelings. I don't think I will be spending much time with this person anymore. No great loss.

Time in New England... Took Me Away...

Well... ok, for a few hours at least. One of the great things about my job is the staggering amount of paid time off I get. So Friday and Saturday I was able to take the day and spend some time with friends in upstate NY and, MOST importantly - go to Williamstown, MA to see Raul Esparza as the Stage Manager in a reading of " Our Town". He was great and took the part in a much more congenial and playful direction than other productions. It was very well done. The actors assembled for the production were fantastic.

It was a really busy weekend!

The drive up was a little frustrating early on because of construction, but I had a great stress relieving laugh at the rest stop. It was the type of ladies room where the ventilation system was very old, loud and noisy. I had just walked in when an older woman with a very pronounced Long Island accent proceded to proclaim.... "Oh... I'm so glad it's not quiet in here, this way I can pass gas and no one will hear". Yeah... saying it that loudly sort of defeats the purpose of your thought....

While driving back, my eye was drawn to a small grassy patch about 20 feet from the road. There were about 6 or 7 moving lumps - I thought they were gophers or something similar, but it turns out they were wild turkeys. I hadn't seen them since I lived up in the area. When I got home, I made sure the cats and the fish were fed - and then I was off again!

I am very proud of my cousin. She is a very bright young woman from California who received a full scholarship from George Washington University, and she was visiting her aunt (my cousin) before she went down to DC - so I drove and hour and a half to see her. WELL worth the trip - she is wonderful.

I figured this was a good opportunity to see the parents - so we went to dinner and a movie. I got home around midnight (my day started FRIDAY at 6am !!) and promptly passed out.

Today, after some major house cleaning/re-arranging AND baking some goodies for friends - I had the pleasure of going with said friends to see the closing performance of Luisa Strus' one woman show. It was part of the Fringe Festival. She was incredibly engaging as she recounted parts of hers, and her parent's lives. She is definitely one to watch!

Even though weekends like this physically tire the hell out of me .... I know that life is too short and you have to push yourself as long as you can and make the most of it.

Sometimes... "The System" Works

For the past year I have been living with a personal legal issue that has had me tied up in knots and had effected every single facet of my life. Something like this puts a future on hold until it is resolved.

When I came home from work, I ate something and then for some reason decided the kitchen needed a good going over. After taking out the garbage, I spotted my mail on the counter and realized I hadn't even given it a second glance. I turned the envelope over and.... there it was. The address of the court on the upper left hand corner..... I've been excited, nervous - and dreading the arrival of this envelope for three months. This issue was what my journey to Newark was all about: Newark on $25.50 A Day.

I opened the envelope with my eyes closed ... a little dramatic, I know - but I did. There in bold letters was the decision in my favor. I now have my future back - if that makes sense.

Like any good Jewish girl, the first thing I did was call my mother.

Wii - diculous

Last night I had my first introduction to the phenomenon that is Wii. Two words... video game crack. I get the hoopla and the potential for accidents... more on that in a minute.

I'm not really a "gamer" - I play around with my SIMS, Grim Fandango and some trivia games, but that's really it. If I had the Wii system, there would be the possibility of never leaving my apartment.

We all "bowled" the entire evening without leaving the comfort of the livingroom. It's so easy to forget the motions you need to use can cause mishaps. During the game the system consistently reminds you to use the remote with the wriststrap. There is a good reason for this. it can indeed fly out of your hand fairly easily if your palm gets sweaty, or if the remote gets schmutzy. You also have to be careful of objects in the way of your motion. The combination of a ceiling fan, my height and my hand proved to be one of these lessons in paying attention! Needless to say, it amused the participants.

It was quite a fun evening and I'm looking forward to my next fix :-)

Payin' the RENT Again

When I wrote that last Tuesday's performance of RENT was perfect..... it was - until I went again last night.

This was a very powerful evening. Within a week, the cast managed to somehow raise the level of their performances to a new height. The entire group was explosive and it was riviting. The emotional quotient that Adam, Anthony and Tamyra have brought to their roles is astonishing.

When I went last week, I thought Tamyra was good, but lacked the conviction of her role. Last night, she found "Mimi". Her body language was dead on as was her ability to convey the myriad of emotions the part calls for. Nice work!

Adam and Anthony.... stepped it up yet again. The raw power of Adam's ability to channel Roger is beyond explanation. Now that it is ten years down the line, he brings an obvious maturity and evolution in his acting to the part and it shows. His performance was the perfect combination of sweet, desperate, fearful and overwhelmed with sadness and joy. He had me mezmerized. Anthony is, and always will be the definitive Mark. There is no one who will ever be able to match his depth and understanding of this person. He completely nails the quirkiness in voice and movement that this role demands.

I am very fortunate to be able to experience live theatre on a regular basis. There is nothing like it.

Something's Fishy

After a few years, I decided to tackle setting up my fish tank again. Here are some of its funky inhabitants. The first one is my favorite - they are very small and called Endler's Livebearers from Venezuela - I will be getting a female today so they can breed and have a family :-)




Dalmation Lyretail Molly
Sunset Fire Platy

Neon Tetra

Nothing Going On But The RENT

My inner fangurl is making a special appearance for the next six weeks. They are back..... and so are "the pants".



Last Tuesday, I made the first of a few pilgrimages to the Nederlander to see the boys. Adam and Anthony.... what can I say. The chemistry these guys have together is undeniable and palpable. It was so special to see them reprise their roles. They didn't skip a beat. It was perfect and seemed like time stood still. I felt like it was 1996 again when I first sat in my seat at the theatre and watched this incredible piece of work with sheer amazement and joy. If you were there during that time, you felt the impact of Jonathan Larson's clear vision on what was happening in NYC at the time.... he was so on target emotionally that it is not surprising the piece is now a benchmark in the transformation of what is presented Broadway.

It is no secret to those who know me that I have a "special" place in my soul for Adam Pascal.

One thing Leads To Another....

The people at my Dr.'s office really need a lesson in "followup skills". The details are boring, so I won't get into it - but it was very frustrating. Of the two previous tests, one showed absolutely nothing and the other leads me to another specialist and another potential uncomfortable procedure. I will know more after seeing him at the end of the month. Two tests down - two, possibly three to go. While I am definitely getting anxious about all this, I am amazed at the technology that is involved. Until you need it, you don't realize the advances in medical technology. It truly is astounding. So on I go :-)

Oh, and as a side note... I'm not the "so and so" from Southern Boy's blog!

After Midnight

In preparation for my test today, from midnight last night until 2:00 this afternoon, I wasn't allowed a single drop of water or a crumb of food. NO MORNING COFFEE! When I got to the hospital, I was informed that I was dehydrated. REALLY?!? Imagine that. It really wasn't the lack of water that was the hard part - it was the lack of food. The pain I was in was borderline mind numbing.

Elizabeth, my tech, was a lovely young woman who kept my sense of humor and my spirits from falling to pieces. She was fantastic. Not an easy job when your patient is dehydrated, hungry and in pain. These two tests went well... considering the unpleasantness of the situation. So I wait for the results..... and the date/time of the two really nasty procedures yet come. I wish this was over, but I will surely endure almost anything to find out what is at the bottom of this.

Weekends Like They Should Be

What a spectacular weekend. This is what life should be about. Perfect weather, perfect company and best of all.... perfect food! By perfect food, I mean of course.... fried Oreos.... coming in a close second to Sunday's delicious dinner of my friend's meatballs and sauce!

Saturday was spent in the company of two friends who came down for the day from Upstate. I hadn't been to the Renaissance in a while, so it was fun to have dinner there. Then off for drinks at the Mariott. I love their frozen pink lemonade with a shot or two of Malibu. YUM. I had to take off earlier than I wanted to because I had to get up really early to meet some friends for a journey to the Shore.

The biggest bonus of Sunday was spending some quality time with an exceptional young man from the UK, that I had not had the pleasure of meeting until yesterday. We had a tremendous amount in common and it was a fantastic discovery of shared experiences. Very eye-opening considering our different backgrounds - however, we have a few people in common so it was really, really fun.

It was such a beautiful day to be at the Shore. Lovely breeze, great people watching and again... the food. Did I mention Rita's Ices earlier? No? Well I should have :-) I will not mention the music video we made... that will be locked up in a vault tighter than where they keep Dick Cheney's heart. So you know it's safe.

Perfect end to this week's vacation.

Baby You Can Drive My Car

Please... someone do my driving for a while. It seems that is all I've been doing lately.

After work on Friday, I drove around like a crazy person doing countless errands before my weekend getaway. Saturday was up at the crack of dawn to get ready and get going for my 5 hour drive to the suburbs of Maryland. It was a nice traffic free journey for a change! As usual, I needed to make a pit stop.. this was in Delaware. I parked and went in only to find THREE buses of church members and their choir waiting for the ladies room. Oy vey... So I got back in the car and drove to the next rest stop which was 10 miles away. It was empty - thank God. Taking off again - I then soon arrived at my friend's house to a warm welcome and a hot cup of coffee :-)

Monday, late morning - drove home (5 hours) and then drove to the City since I had plans with friends to be at a free screening of Hairspray. Well that didn't work out too well as New Line Cinema FUCKED it up royally and no one with the passes got in. Not wanting to go home, I drove a friend and I to hang out for a while at his apartment.. pizza! I drove home at 10:30 - and promptly passed out.

Tuesday, up early again, drove to Mom's so that I can get my gown from the seamstress and then we went to lunch (crepes!), Walmart and Target. Drove to the supermarket and then drove home.

Today, I drove to a doctor's appointment that I knew was going to be yucky. They took blood in preparation for my tests next week ... ouch. Then I drove to the drug store, the pet store and Trader Joe's - and then drove home.

Tomorrow - NO DRIVING!

Friday - I have to drive an hour to get my hair done, then to my parent's house to get dressed, drive to Summit, then drive to Madison and then drive an hour and a half home.

Saturday - driving to the City to met friends in from out of town for dinner.

Sunday - possibly driving down to the shore to meet other friends.

Monday - looking forward to going back to work - being in one place for a few hours will be a nice change of pace!

Statcounter Fun

One of the fun things about having Statcounter is that you get to see how people land on your blog. Most recently, this came up and made me giggle. Thank you to the person who Googled that string of words, not once... but twice... it made my day :-)

carrie tunch butler picture

It also allows you to see where people are coming from. I have had such a wide array of people from different countries besides the US coming to visit.

I have started an entry about why people read certain blogs, how they land there from places you don't know etc... ,it's an interesting subject. The entry is not ready yet. Some fine tuning is in order.

To Sleep, Perhaps To Dream.....

Insomnia... it strikes again.

A few times a year I get bouts of insomnia. Right about now is the time for one of them. My work schedule changes at this time of year and I have trouble adjusting. I go from 8-4 to 9- 2 or 3. Sounds like a very small change, but it can really affect a person. I'm sure the abomidable heat we've been experiencing and a few health problems are not helping either. I am NOT looking forward to my Dr. appointment next week and the ensuing tests that will be forthcoming. Hopefully a solution will finally be found.

Good thing next week is one of my two vacation weeks in July. I am really looking forward to my getaway this weekend and spending time with my friend and her family. It's a nice drive, very peaceful where they live, and we always have a great time.

I have no doubt that tomorrow morning, I will be in the greatest of moods... (read... cranky).

Bra-Lapalooza

Bra shopping. Damn it, damn it.... damn it.

Men, this is one joyous shopping extravaganza you have mercifully been left out of... well at least most of you.

Getting a proper fitting bra - especially one for a formal strapless dress is like a snipe hunt. The first territory I scoped out was the holy shrine of Victoria's Secret. You know what her secret really is? That their stuff is way more hype than substance. It is mostly very overpriced, ill-fitting crap. Most women have enough body issues as it is, so we don't need to be given orders by an obnoxious dressing room mirror. You are about to go where no man (again.. well, most of you) have never gone before, but have dreamed about.... a dressing room in Victoria's Secret:




Next , after eight... yes EIGHT various department stores, etc.... I finally found one in the least likely place. Burlington Coat Factory. Well made, fit perfectly and very very well priced.

I shall keep this treasure till I die.

Saturday Spotlight - Birthdays!

Fun Birthday Celebrations !!

Last night was such a fantastically fun evening. It was spent celebrating the birthday of a friend with a great group of people; a few I met for the first time. What a pleasure it was to have spent time with this gaggle of goofy, intelligent, free spirited, accepting and somewhat uncensored souls. It certainly was a gay ole time. I am looking forward to having more adventures with this bunch, should they include me in their reindeer games :-)

Despite a rough patch, ok......... a REALLY rough patch in the friendship of said birthday boy, I think we have come out it fairly well. When relationships (friends, family, etc...) go though tough times, when it gets resolved in its own way and time - obviously the dynamics change and shift. Even though it has been almost a year since we rebuilt our friendship, at times I still have that "walking on eggshells" feeling. I guess it's only natural given the decidedly unsettling circumstances that led up to our falling out. Still, I am very happy (and proud) for the huge first step that was taken last year to re-connect. It took a leap of growth, awareness and setting aside of pride to do and I am thankful he did.

~~ What are you doing? Are you delivering mail or are you delivering dick and nuts? ~~

Today's Random Horoscope

I thought this was very appropriate and on target!

There's a lot of hopeful energy around you and your friends right now, so this is a time for everyone to embrace positive thoughts -- they can work wonders. Everyone in your life should have confidence that things are going to turn out just fine.

Saturday Spotlight

Porto Rico Importing Company

On Bleeker Street, just about three quarters of a block away from this mecca of beautiful beans, a faint breeze blows and the enticing aroma of java starts to fill your senses. The closer you get the excitement builds.

PRCP is not a coffee shop - it is a small store that sells a wide variety of the most incredible array fresh coffee beans and teas from around the world. What a treat to be able to go around the world with coffee. A trip I would love to take for real!

Long And Winding Road

While talking to a friend today, the subject of my adoption came up. Why did it come up you ask? Because I received a call from my birth mother at work today. I hadn't spoke with her in many many months. She is on the batshit crazy side and a bit fried due to a life filled with drugs. Apparently, the side effects have lasted well into her latter years. But I digress.... my friend really didn't know the details of the opening phase of this chapter in my life, so I decided to re-publish my initial entry from a blog I had in a former life. So pack a lunch....Here goes.... it's really, really long :-)


October 26, 2005

9:38 am Trying to process this new development in my world is intense, to say the least. Thank G-d for Elaine, my searcher. She has been an angel and over the past week has become a significant part of my life.

Now that my head is clearer, I can document better how it went down (more for myself than anything :-):

Thurs Oct 20th:

I posted my info on the NYA list in the evening.

15 minutes later I get an e-mail from Elaine telling me she is going to find them for me and that I should call her.

We talk for a while and then she gets to work. And when I say gets to work.... she is persistant, determined and will call anyone anytime to get results.


Fri Oct 21st:

Calls and e-mails back and forth with Elaine - she has contacted a few men with the last name I had at birth. The men in a family are they key to finds as unlike women, their last names don't change. She spoke to a few people, but nothing yet.

She gives me homework. I have to go to the NYC library and go back again into the NYC Birth Index books and get the names of males born in 1945, 1946 and 1947 with the last name I was born with. This is the key.

From the info I was given by the agency that now has possession of my records (the original one is out of business - GOOD. More about that later), my birth mother and her older brother were extremely close in age. Elaine figured out that they are about a year apart. He was a freshman in college when I was born and she was 18 - she did the math.


Sat Oct 22:

Cold rainy day - but I trek into the City to do my homework.

The Geneology Room was packed. There were lots of adoptees/searchers looking at the books doing their own research. I managed to find the books I need and start writing names.

There was one name in particular that stuck out - it was the birthday. I put a big question mark next to it, packed up my things and went home to e-mail Elaine my results.

SIDENOTE: I was at the Library a few years ago to research my info. I had found out that an adoptees birth certificate number never changes. Lighbulb went on and I went to the library. I was there for 6 hours looking through the index books from 1965. Why 6 hours?? Because the books are arranged by last name, not number. I had to go through each freaking name in the book and try to match the number. I finally did - right before the Library was going to close. I also took the names of all the females born in 1947 - knowing ones of those names was my birth mother. There were 4 names and one listed as "female"....

Back home around 4:00 - e-mailed my findings to Elaine and started waiting. She was out for the day and most of the evening so I knew it wouldn't be until Sunday that I would hear from her.

THE DAY - Sunday Oct 23rd:

I was on my way to the City at about 10:30 to meet my sister and Mom for lunch and to see "Trailer Park".

My cell phone rings at 11:00 - it was Elaine. I didn't really think anything of it because we had been talking for days.

She asked how my drive in was going, traffic, etc... and told me to keep my eyes on the road - or better yet pull over. That's when I knew she had something to tell me.

Remember the male's name I put a question mark next to? Bingo. It was her brother. Elaine spoke to his wife who confirmed that she did indeed have the right family and that she knew all about me. He happened to be home and literally almost fainted. He spoke to Elaine for a few minutes and needed to hang up to collect his thoughts.

11:30 - my cell rings again - Elaine. She tells me that he called her back and gave her his mother's phone number and that she spoke to her. They are all in Florida - and bracing for the hurricane. Little did she know that hurricane Lisa was about to descend on them.

Elaine tells me that the first thing my b-grandmother said was "I have to talk to her - have her call me".

Keep in mind that this is all happening while I am waiting to meet my Mom and sister for our Girl's Day Out!

11:45 - I call (my b-grandmother) - it was rather amazing. She was calm and collected for about 5 minutes and then she broke down. She kept telling me that it was a miracle and that they had tried to look for me for a very long time.

After about 10 minutes on the phone with her - she says "Oh - my daughter just came in from the pool - I'm sure she wants to talk to you (she was laughing when she said this). I almost passed out. (my birth mother) was there to make sure her mother was ok during the hurricane. Birth-grandmother hands the phone over to her and says "Your daughter is on the phone". So, birthmother gets on the phone and says "So, you are still alive?". I said "uuuumm yeah..." In the background I hear birth-grandmother say... "No, this is your FIRST daughter". (That's when I knew I had a sister!)

Birth-mother then starts to cry. We had a nice talk for about 15 minutes - then I realized I had to meet my sister and mother and had to get off the phone.

It took all the strength and willpower I possessed to act as natural as possible when I met up with them. My sister looked at me knowing I had something to tell her - Mom had no clue. We went to lunch - when Mom had to go to the ladies room - I knew I had about 3 minutes to fill my sister in on what had happened this morning. So I told her as much as I could before my mother got back to the table.

Since Sunday, I have spoken to them AND my niece a few times. A lot of questions were answered and even more popped up - so this is going to be a long and winding road.

Very short list of things I did find out:

My birth father is deceased. He died in a drug related car accident. He was a troubled person. (Elaine has found his brother, who is a doctor and left messages for him to call her). That is going to be a trip!

My birth mother and my Mom have THE SAME birthday (different years, but holy shit) She was the one listed as "female" in the birth index.

I have a half sister - who has a 9 year old daughter . I spoke to her also - she is wonderful! My half sister is missing (she is a drug addict and disappeared - I don't know how long she has been gone - I will get more info on that in the coming days)

My birth name, Lorell, came from a L'Oreal ad featuring beautiful redheads. Too funny! (Dreamgirls! - I was first)

I have a lot of family that I will need to be in touch with. It seems that the entire family knew about me. I was told that my existance was not a "dirty family secret" and that everyone knew.

So.... that's the story so far......

I'm doing quite well with this. It's a very odd situation to be in, but has been suprisingly comfortable.

6-21-07 NOT the end of the story by any means, but I will save that for another time.....

Ka-Ching

The Borgata...... it is a beautiful hotel, but the shining gold building is a bit removed from the rest of the properties in AC. With reason. It is definitely a major step up from them. It is very elegant with beautiful touches throughout. I was a little reticent about spending $20 for lunch - (afterall it takes away from my slot fund), but after walking into the restaurant..... the doubt disappeared. What a fantastic display of gourmet delights. Of course, I was immediately drawn to the dessert section. The treats were magnificent in presentation and taste.

By the end of the day, like a lot of people we were tired and our wallets were somewhat lighter than when we arrived. After a very long day, I wanted to make a quick stop into Showboat - I used to like their casino. We scoped the room for a while looking for a specific type of machine.. we found them, but ran into too many rude crazy ladies and left - so instead of just leaving to go home, we went next door to the Taj for a final fling. We found the machine we were looking for - and two together! We sat down, put in our bills and played for a few minutes - winning a losing little bits at a time. And then...... ka-ching. I looked up and thought I had won 60 quarters ($15) which would have been nice.... I seemed to have missed the extra zero. I won 600 quarters :-) ($150). NICE! All in all between the gas, tolls, snacks and lunch - I came out about $80 ahead..... Not a bad day out! I made some money and spent a lovely day with a wonderful friend.

Saturday Spotlight - Under The Boardwalk

Atlantic City!

Which is where I will be today!
My slot machine addiction will be fed
as will my tummy at the Borgata buffet!

Heath Care Is Making Me Sick

I am probably going to have to leave the job this summer.
It literally is breaking my heart. They raised our health
premiums to almost $400/mo with a $35/45 copay and
$20-50 prescrip. It's insane and something needs to be
done. Being single and my own sole means of support,
I simply cannot afford it. We only get a minimal cost of
living raise... no merit ones ever for anyone. I felt so
wimpy... I started getting very teary as I was telling
one of my friends there about it (my yoga instructor -
she is wonderful).

So... when school is officially over next week and I have
all the quiet time I need, I have to start looking. It sucks.
Well... at least until I have something else, I have the security
of the job I have and won't have financial issues for a while.

It's been a tough week and a half, but last Saturday was
definitely THE bright spot. So much fun!

Great friends and much rejoicing :-)

Definitely Disney

Just a few of my favorites from the trip - I took 500, so this is a drop in the bucket: